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Angela Johnson

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Places my passport isn’t

August 15, 2022

I’m going out of the country soon. For weeks I have wanted to challenge my wife to a passport quick draw.

I thought about making it into a silly game. “Who can find and show their passport the quickest?” But the very competitive voice inside me hasn’t allowed me to issue this challenge since I wasn’t absolutely certain I’d win.

Without any prompting, today, of all days, my wife says “I found my passport”.

Unprompted, unsolicited, and frankly, unnecessary bragging. Of course, she doesn’t know that I am not very confident that I know where my passport is currently. But maybe she should!

The clues have been right there for her. My own unprompted drawer clean outs. “Honey, I’m cleaning out this drawer, come take a look at every dog and cat medication and supplement we own. I’ve organized it. I just want you to know what we have…” not at all related to me misplacing anything

Now, I know that I put it someplace safe. Not in the locking file cabinet I recently bought, which has a folder for my birth certificate and other legal documents. No, too obvious. A passport is important. It should be protected. Even from yourself.

Here are the places that, so far, my passport is not:

  • The legal file folder that has my dad’s death certificate and my birth certificate. It has my initial passport receipt but not the actual passport.

  • The junk drawer in the kitchen where I once kept credit cards I needed to shred, thus designating it a temporary shelter for sensitive material

  • The top drawer of the file cabinet that contains the extra folders and hanging tabs for the files below it.

  • Inside of the book I’m currently reading

  • Inside of the book I was reading and didn’t finish from my last trip

  • Inside of the book I’m planning to read next

  • My sock drawer

  • My old travel carry on bag/purse

  • My current work laptop bag

  • The place where I keep my checkbooks

  • The place where I keep my dad’s ashes

  • The place where I keep the extra note cards and various batteries.

Tomorrow I’ll check my suitcase and every remaining bag and coat pocket I have. It will show up. I may have replaced it by then, but I know I put it someplace safe.

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